Lead Up | Feb 12, 2023

Lead Up: Family Circle

Ephesians 5:22-33

Psalm 78:70-72 He chose David his servant and took him from the sheep pens;

71 from tending the sheep he brought him to be the shepherd of his people Jacob, of

Israel his inheritance. 72 And David shepherded them with integrity of heart; with

skillful hands he led them.

6 Lead Up in Circles

• Circle #1 Self

• Circle #2 Family

• Circle #3 Church

• Circle #4 Community

• Circle#5 Workplace

• Circle #6 World

All of our 3 Lead Up Hurdles still apply.

1. Satan opposes all God movement.

2. The leaders with the most potential rarely realize it.

3. It’s easier to go with the flow than lead a movement.

A shepherd tends, feeds, and protects.

• To “tend” is be watchful and observant, to be tender towards.

• To “feed” is to provide nourishment for health, growth and vitality.

• To “protect” is to stand up to and to stand between trouble. It protect is to

equip my family to face and overcome adversity.

A leader presses and guides forward.

• To lead/guide is to take my family somewhere and shape them on the journey.

Shepherds lead and shape through care. Leaders shape and care through movement.

“The search for alternative forms of family has two major flaws: First, there is

evidence indicating that the nuclear family is, in fact, recovering. Second, a nuclear
family headed by two loving married parents remains the most stable and safest
environment for raising children.”

“The Nuclear Family Is Still Indispensable”

Brad Wilcox, Hal Boyd, The Atlantic, Feb 21, 2020.

“Communities are stronger and safer when they include lots of committed married

couples. It’s good news, then, that the share of children being raised by their own

married parents is on the rise. Extended kin can (and sometimes must) play a greater

role in meeting children’s needs. But as any parent knows, when it comes to an

inconsolable child, even a “dozen pairs of arms” from the village don’t quite

compare to the warm and safe embrace of Mom or Dad.”

“The Nuclear Family Is Still Indispensable”

Brad Wilcox, Hal Boyd, The Atlantic, Feb 21, 2020.

The key to leading up in your family circle is loving up your spouse.

Marriages can drift over time. When disappointments get swept under the rug they

pile up into discouragements. Dismissed and undisclosed discouragements create

distance.

Ephesians 5:21 21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

“Love one another out of love for the Christ.” (Charlie Paraphrase)

Loving one another looks like submission to one another. Submission means to

place your rank underneath the rank of the other.

Ephesians 5:22-24

22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the

husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which

he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit

to their husbands in everything.

“Wives love your husband like you love the Lord. Wives, place your rank

underneath the rank of your husbands as you have placed your rank underneath the

Lord Jesus Christ.” (Charlie Paraphrase)

Ephesians 5:25-31 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and

gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water

through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain

or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way,

husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves

himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for

their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his

body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his

wife, and the two will become one flesh.”

Agape Love is an unconditional love. This is the love we and the church receive

from Jesus Christ. Husbands are instructed to unconditionally sacrifice themselves

for their wives, to unconditionally choose their wives over themselves. Husbands

are to exchange their most foundational relationship as sons for being husbands. To

develop a new self-defining relationship as a husband to a wife.

Ephesians 5:32-33 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ

and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves

himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

“Marriage is a deep and layered relationship as deep and layered as Christ’s love for

His Church. And although I have just talked about a profound mystery here is what

you are to do with what I have instructed… each one of you must love his wife as

he loves himself, and the wife must love (respect) her husband.” (Charlie

Paraphrase)

To wives, love looks like, feels like and is received, when their husbands

unconditionally and sacrificially choose their wife over their self.

To husbands love looks like, feels like and is received, when their wives give

unconditional respect and trust.

Ephesians 5:22-33 (AMP) 22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as [a service]

to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as Christ is head of the church,

Himself being the Savior of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also

wives should be subject to their husbands in everything [respecting both their

position as protector and their responsibility to God as head of the house].

25 Husbands, love your wives [seek the highest good for her and surround her with

a caring, unselfish love], just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up

for her, 26 so that He might sanctify the church, having cleansed her by the washing

of water with the word [of God], 27 so that [in turn] He might present the church to

Himself in glorious splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she

would be holy [set apart for God] and blameless. 28 Even so husbands

should and are morally obligated to love their own wives as [being in a sense] their

own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his

own body, but [instead] he nourishes and protects and cherishes it, just as Christ

does the church, 30 because we are members (parts) of His body. 31 FOR THIS REASON

A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND HIS MOTHER AND SHALL BE JOINED [and be faithfully

devoted] TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH. 32 This mystery [of two

becoming one] is great; but I am speaking with reference to [the relationship of]

Christ and the church. 33 However, each man among you [without exception] is to

love his wife as his very own self [with behavior worthy of respect and esteem,

always seeking the best for her with an attitude of lovingkindness], and the wife

[must see to it] that she respects and delights in her husband [that she notices him

and prefers him and treats him with loving concern, treasuring him, honoring him,

and holding him dear].

You can have your dream marriage, even after disappointment and discouragement,

but it will come through the path of repentance and mourning.

Repentance isn’t… “I am sorry for what I have done, please forgive me.” That’s an

apology.

Repentance is… “I am sick to my stomach for what I have done, I don’t ever want

you or I to ever experience or feel this way again.” That’s repentance!

God never forgives an apology. God always forgives and redeems our repentance.

Your spouse doesn’t want or need an apology. They long for repentance and

mourning.

Husbands, apologies without repentance will make your wife’s heart hard towards

you. A broken heart filled with repentance and mourning of your hurtful, self-serving

actions will heal hers.

Wives, silence and physical distance will make your husbands heart hard towards

you. A broken heart filled with repentance and mourning your dismissive and

dishonoring tone and actions will heal his.

Matthew 5:4 (AMP)

“Blessed [forgiven, refreshed by God’s grace] are those who mourn [over their

sins and repent], for they will be comforted [when the burden of sin is lifted].